The Beta Test

1) The Thomas Test

This is the first and simplest test to decide whether you are alpha or beta, using one question:

Are you on the Internet?

If the answer is yes, then you are a beta, and must follow the Church's way.

Some interpretations of The Thomas Rhetoric indicate that the more you enjoy the Internet and indeed the more general knowledge you wish to acquire and seek futile self-improvement, especially about women, the further into The Beta Way you are.

This is disputed.